Two new things

1) Someone came in. Then they farted. Then they pretended to be interested in coffee. When the fart started to smell they escaped. Lucky me

2) Little cop decided to visit multiple times today. Only twice did he stare at my ass. Then I told him to do something. He told me to stop reading. Then he went on to BRAG that he has never read an entire book before in his life. He thinks the books good enough to read are always made into movies, so therefore, he never has to read. I wondered if he even knew how to read (since he clearly doesn't know how to not be socially awkward) so I asked him if he knew how to read. Then he responded "I don't read good, but I know how. At least enough to get a job." I told him he should have said 'well' instead of 'good'. And then he told me to "shut up."