Cross-Eyes

Eyes are something I always look at. I try to aim for the spot right above the eyes but I always find myself staring straight into them. And that is where my pet peeve comes along. Crazy eyes. I cannot stand them. I call them crazy eyes because they make me go crazy and they are eyes.

So this woman enters and she looks normal. Until I make eye contact with her face. And then it hits. She has cross-eyes. I don't know where to look. I don't even know if she can see me or just her nose. This is not going to be good. Luckily she doesn't want anything, but rather wants to use a phone. I am attempting to be nice and instead of telling her to go use a pay phone, I give her my personal cell phone. A normal person would make the quick phone call. She, however, with crazy eyes and all, is not normal. She then talks for 30 minutes. I am about ready to kill her. But then she mentions to me, after hanging up, something something about her long distance lover. Then I almost puke. I wonder if he has crazy eyes too. Then she tries to steal the pastry box. I tell her no. She keeps trying to explain to me why it would be perfect for her. I still tell her no. She walks away mad.
1st: She's not even a customer
2nd: she's cross-eyed
3rd: She tells me extraneous information that I do not need or want to know
4th: she's a cross-eyed not customer

She finally leaves. I am happy. I wish I had had a drink to celebrate (I mean a real one, not coffee) but then she comes back because she needs to make another phone call to "work things out."
I think she doesn't have a long distance lover. Lie. I think she has a fake internet boyfriend who has never seen her or she was calling one of those local hotlines to talk to her "boyfriend" and "work things out."