The Gangs all Back

The motorcycle/bowling team came back today. I was hoping they might have forgotten about me, but they didn't. They remembered I was the girl who made the "ball" comment. I tried to ask if they remembered to bring me my jacket but they didn't. Then they said that I had to earn the jacket. Somehow to earn a jacket one must leg wrestle the members of the motorcycle gang. I don't know about you, but this does not seem like an equal deal to me. I think I will just make my own jacket and wear it next time they come in. That will show them. I don't have time to play games.

Then a man came in and he seemed really cute. Future boyfriend? I think I should start having an application for them to fill out before I get involved, just to make sure they are at least the same age as me. However, I had a good feeling about this one. I mean, he had a suitcase with him and he didn't look homeless. He even told me that I could make him whatever drink I wanted. I made him close his eyes so that it could seem like a real surprise. I think he really appreciated the fact that I made it like a real surprise. So I presented him with my newest made up drink. He seemed to like it. I thought this was good flirting. Then I asked him if he was traveling or what. And he said no. Then I said, well why do you have a suitcase then. He answered, for clothes. I had no idea what that meant. Then he continued, "yeah, this way I can just change my clothes when I want." Of course I would find him cute. But then he said, "Just kidding!" What a guy, he knows how to joke. Then we were talking for a bit. He introduced himself as Johnny. Then another customer came and he started to walk backwards and crashed into our display case. Cute. Maybe he'll be back...with a surprise for me!

Herbal Teas

As I was walking to work today, it was raining. I was thinking about different things, like hot chocolates and cars, and then I slipped in a puddle. I think it was pretty funny, at least I had to pretend because I happened to fall right in front of a bus stop full of people. I slid down the hill, did something similar to the splits, and screamed OOOOO. Nobody helped. I still made it to work on time despite the quick obstacle. I was hoping this wouldn't be an omen for what my day would be. But it was...

- dropped a milk jug on my foot
- had milk explode onto my shirt
- flipped over a container of chocolate
- cut my hand on a yogurt container

Just kidding. Those things didn't happen, just the cut with the yogurt container. But I did have a lady order an herbal tea. She was quite annoying. Then I started to think about herbal teas instead of hot chocolates and realized that I find most people who get herbal teas to be very annoying. This lady especially. I heard about her nature camps, how herbal tea affects her digestive system, and how she makes all her own shirts out of hemp. After hearing all this I told her that I liked to drink just hot water and smiled. She smiled. Then I told her I met a lady who poked her eye out the other day. I bet herbal tea can't cure that.

Diets

I like the word diet, but only when it is said backwards. Then it sounds cooler and also like it's a word in German, Steid. Diets are too hard to follow in my opinion. Once I tried to be on one, but then all I could think about was food so clearly I gave that one up. I think it lasted all of 3 days. I also love when people come to order drinks and inform me they are on a diet. I especially love it when they order a blended 20 ounce mocha immediately after, but tell me to forget the whip cream because of their diet. I always want to say, well, the whole drink sort of contradicts your diet anyway so why not add the whip cream, but then again, I'm not the one on a diet.

Antonio has recently informed me of his diet. I forgot to tell him that I don't really care, but he comes in every single day to let me know of his progress. Apparently, today, he is down to 198 pounds. The things he can now do at 198 pounds are:

- bend over and tie his shoes
- sweep the floors with more energy
- Be a jerk for longer with his newly increased stamina
- Wear his zip-up fleece vest, zipped up

I tried to ignore him but it's hard when someone is standing directly in front of you demonstrating their new skill set and rubbing their belly at the same time.

Then another man came in shortly afterwards. He was a boxer in his day. We will call him Ken. He comes in every single evening. He also repeats the same things every single time. It is going on month 6 of me hearing about his days as a boxer. I think he got punched one too many times that he can't seem to remember ever telling me any of this. Poor Ken. Where's Barbie? Before he left, he told me about the pimples developing on his forehead. He seemed unhappy about this, especially since he's over 50. Hmmmm....

And then just when I thought I couldn't take any more, I spied Silver Fox, and then everything was ok.

Russian has finally returned

I was starting to think that Russian had actually made it in the music business. It had been a few months since I had seen him. Last thing I heard, he was headed to Miami to meet with some serious producers. I thought he was lying, then I thought, maybe I should have been nicer. Then today, he showed up out of the blue. I decided to ask him about his trip to Miami. Turns out, he never went. "Work" got in the way. I'm sure. So he never even went to Miami. I mean MIA, excuse me. So I asked if he was still doing music. Honest question. But now, apparently, he's over it. And to think I ALMOST thought he was serious about a music career. Now, he's focusing on taking a trip to Europe, to go back to his Russian roots. Maybe he will learn to speak some Russian before he goes. Perhaps next time I will suggest that to him.

Missing Eye

I think because I have an issue with eyes, I keep meeting people with eye issues. I try not to focus on it too much, but sometimes, it's very difficult and I can't help myself. Most times I wonder what happened, and other times I have to wonder where they are looking. I try to find these answers tactfully but that doesn't always happen. Sometimes I walk quickly back and forth behind the counter to see which eye is following me. Other times I try to talk about a personal accident and see if they tell me about theirs. Today, I didn't even have to do anything special. This lady just came right out and told me.



Yunis: Hey!
Me: Hi
Yunis: It's my birthday today
Me: Happy Birthday
Yunis: Yeah, but I poked my eye out 4 days ago
Me: Ouch, yeah, it looks like that happened
Yunis: Yeah, it was really bad. I almost died
Me: I'm sorry. Well I am happy you are alive now
Yunis: It was so scary. I mean, look at my eye.
Me: I did
Yunis: I have these glasses now. I guess I had them before but now I only see out of one side. I almost died! Then I wouldn't have been able to celebrate my birthday

And then she kept going. I went into the back room to re-stock and came out 3 minutes later and she was still going. I guess it was devastating. To me too Yunis. Maybe you should consider getting a glass eye so that your eye flap doesn't just hang over. I know someone who can help you out.

Hand Sanitizer

With the flu going around, everybody is in constant fear of getting sick. I like to think that I am immune to these kinds of sicknesses. Maybe that's because I also already had the swine flu and lived through it.

In honor of the flu we decided to put hand sanitizer on the counter so people can keep germ free hands. Sometimes I don't really like the smell of it, but other times, I appreciate the strong smell because it beats the smell of B.O.

Today Big Cop wrote $0.25 per pump on the container. And then everybody thought I was actually charging for the sanitizer. I thought it was funny. Big Cop thought it was even funnier. Some people didn't get the joke so I was forced to wipe it off. Reminded me of the time I wrote "Liquids = Death" on the trash can.

Gay Jokes

Everybody loves a good joke. I especially love jokes. I used to memorize a joke a day to be cool. I think I used to do this because I was shy and didn't know how to make friends and this for some reason, made me more popular. Then when I stopped being shy, I switched to pick up lines and forgot all my jokes.

Antonio the janitor still likes to tell jokes. This, however, doesn't make him cooler. If the jokes were good, then I might like him more, but they aren't. His joke repertoire began with mostly sexual jokes but now he has switched to telling only gay jokes. These I find even less amusing mostly because they are offensive and also because they all have the same punchline-"and he was gay!" You'd think he would stop telling me them since he's always the only one laughing, but that doesn't seem to stop him. Then he showed me a picture of him in his younger and hotter. This picture consisted of him in tight white pants and a tight white shirt plus pointy black shoes. Antonio, are you sure you aren't gay?

Syrians

A cute couple walks into the caffe. They ask for a cup of coffee. I say "we're out!" Funny joke huh? Not really. I just made it up.

But seriously there is a very cute couple. They sit for at least an hour and have coffee and talk. The man is from Libya, the girl is from here. He has an accent so naturally I asked him where he was from. And then I shared my roots with him. He found out that I was middle Eastern. I thought this was great except for the fact that I can't speak any Arabic. That seemed ok for him too because he said, well, Syrian women are the best. They take very good care of their men.

I think that this is only true in Syria. But I made sure to tell him that I would inform my Dad of this well known fact so he knows how good he has it.

Thank you Libya + girlfriend.

Burgers!

One thing I love is a good burger. I also like not so good burgers, but that depends on how hungry I am. There is a place, it is called Red Mill Burgers and it's delicious. It is better than In N' Out in my opinion, which is a very big opinion.

I was selling coffee today, as usual, but also hot dogs. Then a lady walked up. We started talking. Then she told me she was the girlfriend of the guy who owns and started Red Mill Burger. Because of how quick she was to proclaim that, I am guessing that a lot of people know her status. She's sort of like a celebrity, if being associated with burgers is similar to being associated with tv or magazines. I'm not one to knock someone down (unless they are creepy), so I acted very impressed. I didn't really need to act that well because I was impressed. How do I get a boyfriend who owns a restaurant? Is the guy who owns In N' Out currently available? Since there is no tactful way to ask her how she managed to land that guy as her boyfriend, I listened to her talk about burgers with enthusiasm, waiting for her to give me a coupon or something for a free burger. That never came. I thought she might even invite me to have a burger with her sometime or give me the VIP number to call and pre-order. Apparently we weren't thinking along the same lines.

And then after all that talking, she ordered him a hot dog. Hey, wait a minute lady, I thought he only ate hamburgers?

The Return and Departure of GoldTeeth

I started to think that Goldteeth finally realized I wasn't, nor ever would be interested in him. But then I'd also have to ask myself, "could I really be that lucky?"
Today was Goldteeth's most amazing visit. he walked in with luggage (I obviously took that as a positive sign). He seemed sad because he is now officially leaving the country for 6 months. I, on the other hand, couldn't hold in my excitement.





GT: Hey Baby! You know I have to leave for awhile?
Me: (I thought the day would never come). Well, have a safe trip
GT: Yeah Baby, you know, I'm going to have to do a lot of things out there. I don't wanna leave but I got to, you know, so people like you can stay here.
Me: Yeah...
GT: So where I'm going, you know, it's going to be summer and then I get back and it will be summer here!
Me: Fascinating
GT: You still have my number right baby? You know you never called me.
Me: I know
GT: Okay baby, check to see if you still have my number
Me: Do you want room for cream in your coffee?
GT: You know, on the boat we're going to have to go on a treader a lot so I can't be having cream
Me: A treader?
GT: Yeah
Me: What's a treader?
GT: You know, a machine to get you into shape
Me: A treader?
GT: Treader, Threader, something like that
Me: Treadmill?
GT: Yeah! You know baby I've never been on one before
Me: I wouldn't doubt it
GT: I'm going to miss you but you know I'm going to think about you a lot
Me: Please don't
GT: Yeah baby, I will. You'll be here when I get back right?
Me: I hope not
GT: Yeah, well you have to be here. It's your job.
Me: But I might have another one by then
GT: Yeah baby, I can see that. You would make a great teacher or lawyer.
Me: I don't want to be a lawyer
GT: Yeah baby, either a teacher or a lawyer
Me: Not a lawyer
GT: That's how I see you, you know. Teacher or Lawyer. You'd be great.


And then he was ready to go. I was ready for him to go. I waved excitedly until he surprise attacked...with a hug. He just went in for the kill. I was paralyzed. And then he kissed me on the cheek. I was still paralyzed. Then he winked at me and went to collect his luggage again. I finally came to and ran to the sink to wash off any leftover remnants of Goldteeth. And while I scrubbed I thought "how did that just happen?"

Oh Goldteeth, always full of surprises!

the real Oktoberfest

Now it is the month of October which means you can actually celebrate Oktoberfest. I think when you can celebrate something, it's always a good idea. I try to celebrate something everyday. Today I celebrated everybody who ordered a black drip coffee. I think they appreciated it, especially when I said Congratulations to them. After all, everybody wants to be a winner.

Big Cop came back again. Today he visited a grand total of 6 times though he only purchased things 2 of those times. At least he tried to help me find the guy who stole my tips.

For the 4th day in a row, he informed me that I have until Saturday to come up with a good excuse for why I can't go out with him. I just don't get it? He clearly doesn't get it. How do you convince someone to go out with you by having them come up with excuses for why they can't? I will not be worn down.

Today I came up with a good excuse, or so I thought. I said that I was not available this weekend because I was going to the real Oktoberfest. I said that I was being picked up in a private plane to go to Germany for Oktoberfest and wouldn't be back until work starts again Monday morning. Just for extra measure, I added that I roll with a pretty intense crew. I figured he would figure it out.

On visit number 6 he asked me if I was ready for my big trip. I had no idea what he was talking about. Unfortunately, that's how he figured out that I lied. And I thought the private plane gave it away.

Los Bandidos

Shoniqua is back to her chips and cup of noodle. I guess the Kashi didn't do it for her. I asked her what happened. She said "this diet's hard!" I think she thinks she's still on her diet. Good for her.

Besides breaking diets, there are lots of other things that can happen at the caffe.

You can

- have your tips stolen (true, it happened today)
- meet a motorcycle gang

Naturally, I am fascinated by uniforms. I like almost any uniform, except the ones that seem like a costume and a dare. A group of guys walk in today wearing motorcycle pants (AKA leather) and these jackets with "Los Bandidos" on the back and their nicknames on the front. I ended up talking to "Jesus." Since I love both uniforms and motorcycles, I had to say something. I asked them if they were in a motorcycle gang. Jesus told me no, they are actually a bowling team. I knew they were kidding, so I tried to fire back "well then where are your bowling balls?" As soon as it escaped my lips, I knew I had said the wrong thing. Then they all looked at me and said "you can't see them?" with smirks on their faces. I don't think the real Jesus would make a comment like that.

I let them sit for a little before asking if I could join their team and if I could get a uniform. Apparently I have to earn it. I stood in my best motorcycle riding pose for 2 minutes but that didn't seem to work. I think I should just bedazzle my own jacket and keep it behind the counter for when they come back. They can't refuse me if I already have the team jacket, right?

Shoniqua on a diet

What comes to mind when you envision some of the following?

- airbrushed nails
- neon eye shadow
- updo
- below lip piercing
- cup of noodle


If you answered Shoniqua, then you are correct. Shoniqua is a heavier set, but very nice young lady who works in the area. Every day she comes to the caffe to pick up a bag of chips and also get hot water for her cup of noodle. Today, however, was different. I was standing ready and alert by the hot water spout until she broke it to me that she was on a diet. She didn't actually say she was on a diet but she hinted at it. I believe she said "what would someone get if they were on a diet?" I took that someone to be her. Eventually I got her some Kashi cereal which she seemed to like. We'll see how she does tomorrow.

Transition Lenses part II

As you know, I have a thing against transition lenses. I have no idea whey they seem to be becoming more popular, especially since they still don't transition properly. It was raining and cloudy today yet this guy's glasses were still in "transition." I wanted to say that perhaps his glasses are defected like all the other transition lenses in the world, but I don't think that's really my place.

So Transitions (as I will call this guy) came up to the counter today to order his drink. He claimed to know me although I have never seen him before. Maybe I just couldn't recognize him since his glasses were actually part sunglasses and therefore couldn't really see his eyes. I maybe could have figured out where I had seen him before if I hadn't been so distracted by his lenses. I held a smile the whole conversation, mostly because I started to picture a little teacup piglet wearing transition lenses. How cute would that be?

the Raffle

I am not much of a gambler. Maybe that's also because $10 seems like a lot of money. You might have thought I forgot to put in a 0 in that monetary amount, but I didn't, I really meant $10. Occasionally I will buy a scratch ticket. One time I had a lucky feeling. A really lucky feeling. Instead of buying a lottery ticket, I had my mom go to the grocery store to pick me up a scratch ticket (I was under 18 and trying not to do things illegally). When she arrived home with my ticket I scratched and WON. I won $20. My mom volunteered to go back to the store to pick up more tickets but my lucky feeling was gone. Sorry mom.

Today I was approached by a worker at the burrito stand. This time it wasn't Alejandro, but instead, Catalina. She wanted me to buy a raffle ticket from her. Naturally, I wanted to know what I would win. Shockingly, and also not shockingly, she responded that I would win a refrigerator. I already have a refrigerator so I didn't really want to participate in this raffle. But then I heard the money was going to support her friend, who's mother just passed away and they wanted to send her body back to Cuba where she was from. First off, I want to go to Cuba. Secondly, I want to go to Miami which is the American version of Cuba. Thirdly, Coffee Princess begins with C and so does Cuba. I of course had to support her. And then she told me one ticket is $10. I better win that Refrigerator

Toy Cars

When someone says "toy cars" I immediately think of 2 things. Hot wheels and mini coopers. A regular customer of mine showed up today, on a Saturday of all days. Clearly I was curious since I know he works a Monday through Friday, 9-5. He was shopping for a car. That's fun, I thought. He didn't think it was THAT fun. So I continued to pry and ask what kind of car he was shopping for. Then he told me that he was looking into purchasing "you know, a toy car." I laughed because I pictured him in a mini cooper. A few seconds later, still smiling, I realized that maybe his idea of toy car was different than mine. Turns out, I was very wrong. His toy car means Maserati. Good thing I asked.

Speed Dating

Nowadays there are all different types of dating; online dating, Blind dating, Club dating, friends of friends dating, and my personal favorite, speed dating. It's the perfect way to date. Fast and painless. If it's slow and painful, you just have to hit the button and say "next."
I didn't get the memo that there would be speed dating today at the caffe. A shorter man walked in with a girl, Sergio and Jun-Yin. As I'm making their drinks, Jun-Yin proposes a plan, if Sergio doesn't like the drink then I have to give him my phone number. I think she got it backwards because I would never date anyone who insulted my skills as a barista. As I'm not one to hand over my number so easily (wink), I decided I should embark on a game, a game of speed dating.

Me: Where are you from?
Sergio: Dominican Republic. (check)
Me: What do you do?
Sergio: I'm in the army (minus) but I want to go to grad school for a masters in forensics. (check)
Me: Do you smoke?
Sergio: No (check)
Me: Do you drink?
Sergio: No (minus) (but at least I know I can eliminate alcoholic and frat boy)
Me: Extracurriculars? Hobbies?
Sergio: Cycling. I love to Salsa. (check and check)
Me: You like to read?
Sergio: I'm really into Christianity books right now (minus)
Me: How old are you?
Sergio: Doesn't matter. That's not important (little minus)
Me: It shouldn't matter if it's nothing to be embarrassed about
Sergio: Why do you want to know? (bigger minus)
Me: Because. You forgot to answer that question on your dating application
Sergio: What?
Me: How old are you?
Sergio: 35 (biggest minus)

Sorry Sergio, 11 years is a bit too much. And you had to have your friend ask for my number. Give it another 5 years and then we can see if our maturity levels have evened out.

Back up Dancer

Jabron the janitor apparently has a music company. I did not know this. He is also apparently putting on a show, a huge show. Today he asked me to be a dancer in his shows. I am not sure whether to take this as an insult or a compliment. He himself, for sure cannot dance. He can't even stand his entire working shift, let alone bend down to pick up dropped garbage, so at least I know I am safe from viewing any "drop and lock-it" moves.
Once the hilarity of it passed, I realized that I was still in a state of shock. I didn't even bother to ask what kind of music would be playing. What I do know is that I will never hang out with Jabron outside of the caffe.

Chanel

I have recently developed a new obsession with perfumes. I apparently live my life through obsessions. So this week it is perfume and also Serrano peppers. You might be thinking that the two don't go along so well, but if you can get perfume to cover up the hot smell of a Serrano pepper without making yourself sick, then you've found a winning fragrance.

I usually smell coffee all day. Sometimes I get a whiff of something unpleasant like stale piss or bad body odor. Today, however, I smelled something excellent. I knew exactly who it was coming from too. So I told him, "you smell really nice." And that's when I found out who he was.

1) Gay
2) Works for Chanel
3) Love Coffee
4) Wants to be my friend

If I had materials to make a sash, I would have made him one on the spot; Mr. Chanel.

Language Barriers

There are a whole bunch of Ethiopian taxi drivers. Some of them drive real taxi cars, others drive town cars. All of them are very pushy. Some of them dress up in suits to look more responsible. This I find very amusing. I, however, don't find them amusing when they all come into the caffe at the same time. They really enjoy sitting down and shouting out their order to me behind the counter. They also can't speak English very well so I never know what they are actually talking about. They ordered a bunch of cookies one day, so I gave them cookies, only to find out they really wanted scones. They also confused sandwich and croissant. I figure we can work on this.

There is one driver who likes to stick around for even longer. He has tried to ask me out now at least 10 times. Two times he has asked to give me a ride home. When he asks what time I get off work, I always reply with late. It didn't take him too long to figure out that I wouldn't tell him the time, so then he just started to invite me to dinner. First he wanted to take me to food. Then it slowly got to the point where he offered to bring the food to me. After the 5th dinner invite, I finally said, "how about you bring me a plate of food already made and I will eat it by myself behind the counter?" He said ok. But then he said, what time should I pick you up? I am guessing he didn't actually understand what I said.

Today is even a better example of why I could never go on a date with him.

Me: Short coffee?
Rafiq: When we go to dinner?
Me: I'm super busy. How's your class? (He's currently enrolled in an english class)
Rafiq: Every day
Me: HOW's your class?
Rafiq: One week
Me: No, How is your class going?
Rafiq: 11 to 4
Me: No no, how is your class? do you like it?
Rafiq: 25 people

And just imagine how awkward dinner would be.

I'd rather starve

Let's talk about SoyJoys for a second. I love all granola bars. They are delicious. Similar to candy bars which is probably why I love them so much. Something I don't love are SoyJoys. I don't get them. It looks like some soy nuts and dried fruit went through a mammogram machine and then were packaged. These things are all over the place. I have never seen any person actually buy this product. The thing I can't figure out is why they are spending so much money on the marketing? I think they should have just created a good product instead.

On my way to work, what feels like once a week, there are people dressed up to pass out SoyJoy bars. I keep trying to refuse them because I have an unused pile in my house, but they keep forcing them on me.

I for one will accept anything that is free unless it is
a) a bag of poop
b) a salted anchovie
c) a soyjoy bar

Food is generally a good incentive to get people to show up somewhere. Also the word "free." But not always, and that is what you must remember.

Coffee Princess breaks down

Today someone had a breakdown, and that someone was me. I yelled at Antonio which felt great, though not as great as I had hoped. Of course, he didn't really get it either. I even said everything in Spanish to make sure he would understand every word. Antonio has been annoying me for a very long time. He always tries to get a little too close into my personal life and then never wants to help out with anything like garbage. So I told him how I felt and then continued yelling for another 5 minutes just because. At the end, sadly, he had nothing helpful to say. His idea of a good response was "we're still friends right, baby?" Then I told him to get out of the caffe (please). Why he came in 3 more times to "see" if I was feeling better is beyond me.
Then Alejandro from the Burrito stand. I was mean to him too. He was bored and wanted me to entertain him. I told him I was too busy to entertain. Then I yelled at him too and said I can't always be expected to entertain. I quickly apologized and said I was sorry and that I was just having a rough week. Then I requested to be left alone because I needed my space today. He looked sad. He also looked like he got what I was saying. But then he came behind the counter and said "let me just have my hug." That must be a phrase in Mexico or a misinterpretation, alone = hug.
And then I was ready for a good cry. I like to think it was enjoyable for all involved. At least semi-entertaining. Big Cop took this as his opportunity to pose as my knight in shining armour. He offered me a ride home.

I took the bus.

Vacation

When someone says "I need a vacation" you might think they are referring to the song by Young Jeezy (black rapper) called "I need a vacation." You could also think "hey, I too need a vacation." One option to consider is having a rich boyfriend who needs a vacation and will take you along. If that doesn't happen, then one can always move to a place that is considered vacation, like Hawaii for example.
Today for some reason, there were a bunch of people promoting Hawaii at work; passing out free orchid lei's and providing entertainment such as hula dancing. I briefly considered moving there, mostly for the hot weather and pineapple, but I'm not a fan of their music. Problem #1. I wanted to visit Hawaii at least so I asked if I could "win" a vacation package. They weren't passing out free vacations unfortunately. Problem #2. Also, I don't like that poi (the pudding that tastes like paste). Problem #3. Why can't the Dominican Republic promote tourism here? Then I could get a vacation and a boyfriend.

Australia, really?

There were 2 good things that came out of today. A law suit and a fake Australian. These 2 perfectly represent the customers I have to deal with on a daily basis; angry or creepy. The combination ones are the best, they yell at you before they ask for your phone number all while wearing a wedding ring.

We sell doughnuts (obviously, since I am obsessed with them). We have 2 different kinds of doughnuts. One is a twist (valued at $1.20), the others are vegan doughnuts (valued at $1.65) so therefore more expensive. Senor cheapo got a ordered a vegan doughnut. Then he was angry about the .45 price difference. He proceeded to take a picture of the menu board and say how he was going to sue us. I wonder if he knows a lawyer costs more than .40?

Later in the day a man walks in. He looks similar to a cowboy, but one who has just come back from a football game at a trailer park. Before I even say anything he starts to tell me he is Australian. I notice, however, that he has no accent. He continues on to tell me that it was embarrassing for him to have that accent because nobody could understand him, so he lost it when he came to the US only a couple months ago. I told him that's impressive since it's hard to lose your accent where you are from. Especially after a long time speaking in that manner. I even went ahead and said "After a year and a half of living in Spain, I tried to lose my American accent but it was still there." He had no comment. But then he showed me his cowboy hat. Then he "proved" he was from Australia by folding up his cowboy hat and pretending to put it in his pocket. Apparently you can only do this in Australia. I didn't know whether to laugh or ask for the hat as a parting gift. And then he asked me if I had kids. That was quickly followed up with "do you have a boyfriend?" I wonder if he always asks those questions in that order? I guess Crocodile Dundee is not ready to be a father yet.