Diets

I like the word diet, but only when it is said backwards. Then it sounds cooler and also like it's a word in German, Steid. Diets are too hard to follow in my opinion. Once I tried to be on one, but then all I could think about was food so clearly I gave that one up. I think it lasted all of 3 days. I also love when people come to order drinks and inform me they are on a diet. I especially love it when they order a blended 20 ounce mocha immediately after, but tell me to forget the whip cream because of their diet. I always want to say, well, the whole drink sort of contradicts your diet anyway so why not add the whip cream, but then again, I'm not the one on a diet.

Antonio has recently informed me of his diet. I forgot to tell him that I don't really care, but he comes in every single day to let me know of his progress. Apparently, today, he is down to 198 pounds. The things he can now do at 198 pounds are:

- bend over and tie his shoes
- sweep the floors with more energy
- Be a jerk for longer with his newly increased stamina
- Wear his zip-up fleece vest, zipped up

I tried to ignore him but it's hard when someone is standing directly in front of you demonstrating their new skill set and rubbing their belly at the same time.

Then another man came in shortly afterwards. He was a boxer in his day. We will call him Ken. He comes in every single evening. He also repeats the same things every single time. It is going on month 6 of me hearing about his days as a boxer. I think he got punched one too many times that he can't seem to remember ever telling me any of this. Poor Ken. Where's Barbie? Before he left, he told me about the pimples developing on his forehead. He seemed unhappy about this, especially since he's over 50. Hmmmm....

And then just when I thought I couldn't take any more, I spied Silver Fox, and then everything was ok.