Fresh off the boat

There are a lot of things that make me happy in life, but there are two things in particular that really make me happy. First one is when people think that I am foreign. I love foreigners and also accents, so of course I would love to be one, even in my own country. The second thing is funny t-shirts.

Fortunately, two of the things I love happened to me today. First a man came up to order his drink. At first he wasn’t very funny. It also wasn’t funny when he ordered a huge blended mocha with extra whip cream. From the front view he was wearing a plain black t-shirt with khaki pants. When I handed him his drink, as he turned to walk away, that is when my happiness hit. Mr. Mocha had a shirt on that said BITE ME in huge letters across the back. What makes it even better is that only the back of his pants were sagging because he had (hopefully accidentally) tucked his shirt into his underwear. I didn’t think it could get any more perfect.

Then a smaller lady comes up to the counter. I am talking to her about coffee, explaining the differences with certain blends and drinks. Then she asks me if I am from “the motherland.” I ask her what the motherland is because from how I have heard it used, it could mean really anyplace. Then she says Italy. I love Italians! I say, no I am actually not from Italy. I explain to her that I am here but my mother is Syrian and my dad is German so I am sort of a mixture child. I never said they were from those countries though I guess she could have gotten confused. And then for the next 5 minutes we had a strange conversation, one that didn’t involve me having an accent.

Lady: ooooooooooo so you’re fresh off the boat
Me: No, I have grown up here all my life
Lady: So how do you get into this country? Isn’t it hard for you? I know the green card process is tough
Me: Well, I’m sure it is. I have no idea. I didn’t need to go through that process. I have a friend from India who did and I think it’s difficult
Lady: Wow, so I’m just so fascinated by you. You speak English very well. I hear Syria is beautiful.
Me: Ummmmmmmm
Lady: I watch on TV sometimes about immigration
Me: Yes it’s an interesting process. Good thing I live here
Lady: Ok, well I better let you go. Welcome to this country! I hope you enjoy it here
Me: Now that I met you, I am enjoying it a lot more. Thank you!