Inappropriate

If I worked at a strip club I would understand all the inappropriate comments. If I worked at a bikini coffee stand, I would also understand a few gross comments. But at a reputable caffe, I don't really quite understand what prompts people to comment so much and so inappropriately. Some areas of talk which are considered inappropriate by your barista are:

- sex
- marriage proposals
- drugs
- drinking (unless the barista is involved in this said activity)
- Lace
- Beer bellies
- Bikinis
- Issues of your boyfriend or girlfriend cheating on you (unless you pay me to be your therapist, and in that case, do I need to purchase glasses and a notepad?)
- Virginity


On a daily basis, all these issues are generally covered. Sometimes not in very much detail, which I am thankful for, and other days, people decide they just need to get everything off their chest.

Today that person was Antonio the janitor. He decided to come over and talk to me about my "club." I had no idea what "club" he was referring to but he seemed very positive about it. He even added the air quotes around it a few times just to emphasize the importance of my "club." I had this dream to own a nightclub a while back so I somehow thought he was referring to this. Then I realized that the club he was talking about was the "Virgin Club". At this same time I also realized that he has no idea what he is talking about EVER but thinks he knows everybody and their business.

Antonio: I know why you don't have a boyfriend
Me: Thanks Antonio. That's nice of you to say
Antonio: What? It's just because they can sense your virginidad (virginity) and don't want to taint you
Me: That must be it
Antonio: Si, es la verdad (yes, it's true). The men can sense purity. I sense your innocence. That man you end up with is going to be very lucky
Me: Antonio, that is disgusting. You are disgusting. And maybe I do have a boyfriend right now
Antonio: No, you don't. I can sense that too
Me: Well then maybe you shouldn't be a janitor
Antonio: If you had a boyfriend and he was pleasing you correctly, then you wouldn't be in a bad mood.
Me: I'm only in a bad mood when you walk in
Antonio: Why are you so mean to me?
Me: Because you disgust me.
Antonio: Is Veronika also in you "club?" And what about that Christina? She is in your "club" too no?
Me: That is none of your business. Why don't you start your own club and called it sleazeball?
Antonio: What is that?
Me: Your new club.
Antonio: We are friends right?
Me: No
Antonio: Come on baby
Me: I think someone spilled popcorn outside. You should probably go do your real job and clean that up.
Antonio: You keep your virginidad. You will make some guy very happy. If only I were younger and not married...

And to think that this is how he would talk to an "Innocent Girl". Thank God Antonio has so many other senses. Hopefully the other 5 work better for him.