Fake Blind People

Today I learned about "Bumps." I always wondered why some streets had bumpy strips of yellow going down it and now I know. These bumpy strips are for Blind People! This way they know where they are and how to get where they are going. Whoever thought of this is pure genius.

When a person is not blind, however, they should not use the bumpy part in the street. Just like how you shouldn't use the handicap bathroom when you are actually not handicapped (unless you have to pee very badly and all the other stalls are taken, then I think it's allowed).

These rules apply to people who pretend to be blind mostly because they are lazy or dumb or need better glasses. I had two fake blind people in a row. The first guy wanted to know if I had any food. The whole counter is surrounded by food but of course I had to name everything. Then I told him about our sandwiches. Then I pointed to where the sandwiches were. Instead of looking at them (up-close as was necessary) he asked me the kinds of sandwiches. I then described the sandwiches to him and he responded "well, I want a turkey sandwich because I had a ham sandwich for breakfast." (I guess the guy loves a good sandwich). So I tell him that the turkey sandwiches are in the back, behind the ham sandwiches. I go ring it up at the counter and wonder where he is at. As I look over, I see him standing in front of the sandwiches holding up a bag of sliced apples and asking me if he grabbed the turkey sandwich. I took it upon myself to move from behind the counter to the front of the deli case and get him his sandwich personally. Maybe he really was blind and just forgot his cane?

Immediately after FB1 (Fake Blind 1) walked in FB2. She also had glasses but "couldn't really see anything.) She picked up an apple first and asked what it was. I said "apple." Then she picked up a cliff bar and asked what it was. I said "cliff bar." Then she picked up another cliff bar and asked the same questions. I repeated "cliff bar." Then she pointed to a few more things. This went on for a good couple of minutes until FB1 walked back in to ask about napkins. I handed him some napkins then went back to FB2. She decided at this point to get some ice cream to which I had to name all the flavors even though each one had a sign in front of it describing the flavor. I would have hoped she could have gone for Caramel Chameleon or Salted Caramel with Gingersnap after all my efforts, but instead she went for a plain vanilla. Then she wanted some napkins too. Then FB1 came back over for more napkins and FB1 and FB2 started to talk. For some reason, I don't think this will make a very successful couple. That is unless they both get better glasses or Lasik eye surgery.