Gerbils love to dig

When people are bored, they like to do different things. Some imagine night clubs they wish they owned. Some think about food they are going to make later. Some think about coffee or alcohol, and some think of animals. Perhaps I fall into a few of these categories, but more importantly, when I'm bored I like to picture people as animals. There are two who no matter what, always come up as the same animal. This animal I call "confused gerbil." Since there are 2 of them I will call them confused gerbil #1 and confused gerbil #2.

Confused Gerbil #1 is an older lady who no matter what the weather is, is seen wearing sweat pants and snow boots and carrying a suitcase. I have never bothered to ask where she is coming from or where she is going, mostly because I don't want to interrupt the conversation she is having with herself. I like to watch her, as she watches the wall or the window, sipping her coffee, and I think "hello there confused gerbil #1, would you like a wheel to play on while you wait for your ride?"

Confused Gerbil #2 is actually an employee in the area. He is a very fast talker, has been punched a few times in the face (true fact) and really enjoys repeating himself. His hair is usually cut into a pseudo-mullet and his favorite word to say is "sweet." The first time I saw him as Confused Gerbil #2 was when he started to talk to one of the mannequins in the caffe. They are actually not mannequins but rather paper cut outs of people in a life-size form. They don't look 3-D nor look like real people (unless it's extremely dark out). Today he was even more of a Confused Gerbil when he was ordering at the counter. Actually, he doesn't have to order because I know his drink, so, unfortunately for me, he stands there and talks at me. I was wearing a shirt that said "Joe, is that you?" in reference to coffee. He repeated my shirt then shouted, No, Joe, it's me, Confused Gerbil #2. Oh to be confused and also a gerbil.