New Inventions

I got to thinking today and as my mind was wandering I discovered the absolute greatest invention. I like to call this invention "heavenly delight." You can think of it like Turkish delight but instead of Turkish it's heavenly. So this heavenly delight would consist of a piece of dried mango wrapped around a piece of chocolate. I know, genius.

And then also on my emotional high of this new invention, I couldn't stop smiling. And so I was smiling on the public transport when a man handed me something. It was a little piece of paper. He had a whole backpack filled with them so I assumed he was promoting something even though he didn't look like a "typcial promoter." I played a game with myself even. I thought first this is probably for a restaurant. Then I thought, no, couldn't be, there are no pictures, I bet it's for some religion. Then I thought, no, that wouldn't work, I bet it's about the government. And then I actually looked at it. I realized it was even better. I have copied it exactly below so you get the REAL effect of this paper.

"This is a free speech opinion! If you want marriage to be between a man and a woman and want your children/grandchildren to be straight and heterosexual, then wake up and start taking action! Not only do we have to NOT buy products and services from companies that support same sex marriage, we also have to SUE, SUE, and SUE! The lesbians/gays are suing their way to legalize their marriages and to also tell kids in schools that it is OK for a woman to marry a woman instead of a man, etc. We outnumber the gays and lesbians by over 50 to 1 so we can out sue them! It is about time that we become activists! We have to sue every company that supports the lesbians and gays! Buy from the competitors instead.

In China and Vietnam they eat dogs and cats! Please do not buy products made in China and Vietnam until they make dog eating and cat eating illegal!"

These are the things I have taken away from this article:
1) Dogs and Cats are delicious in some countries
2) Suing is a potential solution to every problem
3) This is the absolute most ridiculous piece of paper I have ever been handed in my life.