Diseases

Today I heard and overheard some great things. Also it was a day full of misunderstandings, mostly people there were a lot of customers "not speaking English."

There was a couple first. The woman was of course wearing a fanny pack. Also a bandanna. And she had teeth the color of a storm cloud. He had a nice little beer belly and some missing teeth. He also was sporting a really awesome rat tail. I handed them their drinks and the woman stole the man's and took a little sip. Then she made a disgusted look and said, "I can't believe you drink that." Then he looked at her and said "Gross, woman. Don't touch my drink. You have diseases. I don't want your diseases." Then she said "You gave them to me you bastard." Then he looked at me and finally at her and "I don't know where you got all those from..." I didn't know whether to laugh or look horrified. I chose a combination of the both which in turn resulted in a constipated look. Not quite what i was going for but I guess I just need a little more practice.

Then an old man came in. He was really old. But still cute, in a grandpa sort of way. And then he shouted "If I had more time, I would ask you to marry me!" I don't know if he meant his ride was there or if he really didn't have much more time left on this earth. I would like to think his ride was there, but then again, I hope he doesn't come back and propose. But I guess it would be acceptable if he brought a really cool present with him. Then maybe I would marry him. But probably not.

Then I had this couple try to order ice cream. They were from Russia. They spoke minimal English. I speak no Russian. I guessed we were in trouble from the start. Mostly them because they probably weren't going to get what they wanted. That's the worst. You can't even complain because you can't say the complaining words in another language so you're just stuck. This is how the ordering went.

Russians: Ice Cream
Me: Ok. What flavor?
Russians: Ice Cream
Me: (pointing to the different bins and shrugging) what flavor?
Russians: (Point) coffee
Me: That is not coffee. Sorry
Russians: ice cream, coffee
Me: Sorry, no coffee. Chocolate? Vanilla?
Russians: coffee. ice cream
Me: NO
Russians: ice cream
Me: How about strawberry? (then I made up a cone of strawberry)
Russians: ice cream
Me: $2.70
Russians: (something in Russian)

I think that was pretty successful. They at least got ice cream which was 2/3 of what they wanted. I think that deserves a pat on the back.