Hot Dogs

A man walked in and requested a hot dog. When I told him I didn't have any he asked me for something similar. Instead of being a smart-ass I decided to be nice and told him about the sandwich options and also about yogurt and granola. I thought he would love the yogurt and granola option because it probably has half the calories of a hot dog and he was looking like his pants were a little too tight. But he wasn't as excited as I was and so he left without anything. I shouted that we also had doughnuts but he was already gone.

Then 3 hours later I hit jackpot. A man walked in. A different man. We will call him Zorro because he can be similar to my hero. He told me he was in the hot dog business. (You might assume that I was talking to him about hot dogs but I wasn't, he just randomly told me this). Then I said lots of people really like hot dogs and ask me for them. He got very happy and then opened his wallet, gave me a $1 tip, then handed me his business card and wrote "good for one free dog" on the back. I said "Hot!" which could be interpreted in two ways. The first being in the way Paris Hilton says it, like it's really excellent. And the 2nd is that I wanted to be clear on "dog" so that I would be getting the food instead of an actual dog, although I would also like a real dog.

And to go back to the point. After waving around my free hot dog card victoriously, I wished that tight pants man could have been there to see this interaction. He would have been jealous. And then I could have told him "if you build it, it will come." And then he would know to build a hot dog stand.

Town Reject's Idol

Town Reject #1 came back today. She had her daughter with her again and also her guitar. Actually, it wasn't a guitar. I always assumed that. But then she told me it was a cello. But I think it's better to just refer to it as a guitar. I wonder if she knows I don't really like her that much. I think she doesn't really know because today she attempted to talk to me. She asked me quietly something. I had no idea what she said because she was across the room from me. So I went closer and she repeated it, but in a softer voice this time. So, of course, I had no idea what she said again. Finally the third time I realized that she was asking me about Susan Boyle the Britain's Got Talent singer. I'm not sure why she thought this would be a good conversation starter, but then again, she also carries around a cello. I also didn't know how to respond. But it turned out that was ok because as soon as I started talking she decided to start reading the newspaper and completely ignore me. But then 10 minutes later she changed her mind and told me that we really should have dairy free sorbet at the Caffe. I told her to go sing about it on her guitar.

Soapy Hands

I had an almost entirely normal day today, at least until the last five minutes. I love it when people come in and start speaking a different language to me. Mostly I think it's funny when it's Spanish because that I understand. Any other language and I either find it fascinating or offensive. Fascinating if it's Italian or French or Portuguese because those are romantic and I can usually guess what they are saying. Offensive if it's any other language because I generally have no idea what is being said and I am left to guess what they want to order or assume they are talking about me.

So today was lucky because the guy was speaking Spanish. So I responded in Spanish. Then he thought it was neat I spoke Spanish. I was holding a pair of tongs in one hand and a soapy, dirty sponge in the other. Then he tried to shake my hand. I showed him that my hands were full. He apparently didn't care. At least that is what he said. I told him that I cared and so it's ok that he doesn't shake my hand. But then he grabbed my sponge hand and kissed it. That was gross. Not so much for me because I think my hands were being protected by the soap and bleach, but his mouth was not. As he pulled his mouth away, he had some soap suds on his chin. That was quite amusing. Then I told him his soda was $20. He handed me a $10 and continued to look in his pocket for more. I said a pop could never be that much, I was only kidding. So I took a dollar from him and called it good. I thought he would leave. Then he asked me what there was to eat. So then I showed him everything and he said that I should pick out whatever I want and he will buy it for me. I don't think he understood the concept that I work at the Caffe and I can eat whatever I want anyway. So then instead he got an apple. Then he kissed my dirty hand one more time. I said that he's going to get brain damage from ingesting so much bleach and should probably stop all the hand kissing soon. And he responded with "you can't say that." I tried to say "yes I can" but he was gone before I could spit it out. Oh well.

Awkward Turtles

I really do love turtles. I don't think they are awkward at all. I mostly find them amusing. I especially love it when people resemble turtles. Then I like to imagine them falling on their backs and kicking their arms and legs around trying to get up. And also they have to wear big green sweatshirts.

Today there were 2 awkward turtle moments in the sense that I became like an awkward turtle, stuck on my back. But I was stuck behind a counter on my feet. Pretty close I think to what a turtle must feel in a trapped situation.

Shortie: Where are you from?
Me: Denver
Shortie: No, where are you from?
Me: I'm from Denver
Shortie: Where is that?
Me: It's in Colorado
Shortie: Okay, but really where are you from
Me: Denver. I think I know where I'm from
Shortie: But seriously, where?
Me: Syria
Shortie: I knew it! We are so close. I am Egyptian

Akward Turtle moment #2

Curlz: Hi
Me: Hi. How are you?
Curlz: Oh my god. My heart just stopped. I thought you were my ex-girlfriend for sure
Me: (awkwardly laugh) Good thing I am not. That would be horrible because I may have forgotten CPR
Curlz: You look just like my ex-girlfriend
Me: Ok
Curlz: Wow, you really threw me for a loop there
Me: Was that loop circular or oval?

What are you supposed to say to that anyway?

Making Rules

It was really sunny today and so I was a little bit sad that I had to work. Because everybody else got to play in the sun, I decided that I was allowed to be sassier than usual. So in honor of this, I made special rules. I changed the rules every hour to keep it more interesting. Some of these rules included but are not limited to:

1) No drinks for people wearing black shirts
2) Anybody who orders a sugar free drink has to give me an extra .50 cent tip
3) If you mention the word foam you owe me a $1
4) If you're taller than me you have to order a black coffee

Some people didn't get the rules so I explained it to them more specifically. Some people thought it was great. Some people thought I had had enough caffeine for one day. And then one person (who I decided needed to have a yogurt and granola because he had a farmers tan) called me a "little shit." I laughed at him because that was funny. Then I said I would rather be called that than "explosive diarrhea" and smiled. Then he thanked me for his yogurt (which was delicious I presume) and told me to behave myself. You bet I will!

SURPRISE!!!

Everybody knows how much I love surprises. I think they are the best. I also think it's best to call everything a surprise because that way it's more appealing. For example:

Customer: I would like a vanilla latte
Me: (make the drink and hand it to them) Surprise! I made you a mocha!
Customer: That's not what I ordered
Me: No, but it's better because it's a surprise
Customer: Oh, ok. Surprises ARE the best so therefore, so is this drink!

And that's exactly what I did today. I gave lots of people surprises. I think they really enjoyed that. I really enjoyed it too. I was smiling all day. At least I was until someone told me that I was "easily amused." Then I stopped.

Gym guy

I used to go to this specific gym. But then I stopped. Mostly because I just got harassed and also got suckered into personal training lessons. I met a fellow work-outer while I was there. He told me his fat story. I love those. He used to weigh 300 pounds but then he changed his life. He dropped half his size and measures in with 14% body fat, not to mention in amazing shape. I decided that with each pound he lost, he also lost 1 point of humility. And also each body fat percentage lost amounted in 1% less modesty. Now that's what I call a good trade-off. Also, lucky me that he picked me out of an entire gym to talk to. And today, to continue with my luck, he walked into the caffe. He was on a date. It was really awkward. Then he tried to show off in front of his date by handing me a $100 bill saying that was all he had. I smiled and told him I don't carry small bills, only miniature donuts. So I asked him if he would like 90 of them. He didn't find that amusing. Neither did his date. I was laughing so that's all that really matters.

Diseases

Today I heard and overheard some great things. Also it was a day full of misunderstandings, mostly people there were a lot of customers "not speaking English."

There was a couple first. The woman was of course wearing a fanny pack. Also a bandanna. And she had teeth the color of a storm cloud. He had a nice little beer belly and some missing teeth. He also was sporting a really awesome rat tail. I handed them their drinks and the woman stole the man's and took a little sip. Then she made a disgusted look and said, "I can't believe you drink that." Then he looked at her and said "Gross, woman. Don't touch my drink. You have diseases. I don't want your diseases." Then she said "You gave them to me you bastard." Then he looked at me and finally at her and "I don't know where you got all those from..." I didn't know whether to laugh or look horrified. I chose a combination of the both which in turn resulted in a constipated look. Not quite what i was going for but I guess I just need a little more practice.

Then an old man came in. He was really old. But still cute, in a grandpa sort of way. And then he shouted "If I had more time, I would ask you to marry me!" I don't know if he meant his ride was there or if he really didn't have much more time left on this earth. I would like to think his ride was there, but then again, I hope he doesn't come back and propose. But I guess it would be acceptable if he brought a really cool present with him. Then maybe I would marry him. But probably not.

Then I had this couple try to order ice cream. They were from Russia. They spoke minimal English. I speak no Russian. I guessed we were in trouble from the start. Mostly them because they probably weren't going to get what they wanted. That's the worst. You can't even complain because you can't say the complaining words in another language so you're just stuck. This is how the ordering went.

Russians: Ice Cream
Me: Ok. What flavor?
Russians: Ice Cream
Me: (pointing to the different bins and shrugging) what flavor?
Russians: (Point) coffee
Me: That is not coffee. Sorry
Russians: ice cream, coffee
Me: Sorry, no coffee. Chocolate? Vanilla?
Russians: coffee. ice cream
Me: NO
Russians: ice cream
Me: How about strawberry? (then I made up a cone of strawberry)
Russians: ice cream
Me: $2.70
Russians: (something in Russian)

I think that was pretty successful. They at least got ice cream which was 2/3 of what they wanted. I think that deserves a pat on the back.

Curves

When I say curves a lot of people think many different things. Some of these things are
- women's bodies
- race tracks
- hips
- arch of back
- what your finger does when you are saying "ta-ta" to someone

But this time when I say Curves, I am actually talking about the gym for women. I think they must teach a lot of things in that gym. I bet self-esteem is one of them. Also exercises. So a woman comes in wearing a Curves shirt. I assume she has just come from the gym so she was very good with her self-esteem. She obviously wanted to pass that along and called me a new name of endearment every few seconds. I've never been called "honey, gorgeous, cutie, cutie-pie, sweet heart, and little princess" in such a short span. I didn't quite know what terms to call her back since I haven't been to the gym, so I went with "silver stallion." I at least thought it was pretty good.

Exploding pop

When you get a pop you mostly expect to open it, hear the little fizz, and then drink it. But sometimes, unknowingly, the pop has been dropped, or someone shook it, or you're just lucky.

Newspaper man came in and started to talk. I tried to shake my head "No" at him from a distance so he would know not to come in. But he clearly didn't understand so he still came in. Then he got a pop. A coke to be exact. He just loves coke almost as much as he loves stocking caps. So he bought his coke. And then he shouted to me and also pointed. And I tried really hard to understand something, but I couldn't. So I just continued shaking my head. Then he left. Then he came back. And he then described through fake English but arm gestures that the pop had exploded on him and hit him right in the face. I said "well, at least now you can smell sweet, sweet like sugary candy." He thought that was funny. Then he gave me a free newspaper even though we sell them at the caffe.

And then I realized that Viking Festival was going on. Whoever invents these things is a genius. i would also like to invent a certain festival and have everybody dress up and look stupid. I think I will call my festival the Bad Mixture Festival. Mostly because I love mixtures in all forms, but it will be funny to see people all mixed up in a bad way.

the Run-In

First a man thought it was a good idea to call me a transplant. I handed him his drink with a huge smile and he goes "you must be a transplant." I wondered if he meant heart, or lung, or kidney transplant. But then I thought, hmmm, he must mean the best one, so I bet it was heart. I didn't have time to ask him what he actually meant because then I just dreamed about being a heart transplant and what I might look like.

Then I had a run-in. My run-in with the cops. I tried to do my best to look illegal, like a heart transplant out of place, but they didn't notice and then talked to me like the real coffee princess. But I don't mind because that's usually when we talk about the best things! The best things including but not limited to:
- beer pong
- jean shorts
- fanny packs
- stripper poles

I have long nails, really long

"Cindy" showed up today all ready for the prom. Well, not really, but if the prom weren't formal, then she could have gone. She was a short little woman with a big drink. Then she also had nails. Really long ones. And there were almost like french tips but instead of white they were red. And instead of just one strip across the tip, it was more like slanty red with some sparkles. Then she complained to me about how she couldn't do anything. She hasn't been able to type at work on the computer. She couldn't get the money out of her wallet with the nails. It occurred to ask her why she still had them, but I kept quiet and just observed. She then dumped out all of her purse and told me to count out the money. I told her that I am a great counter, but my nails are too short, so therefore I am not able to pick up money off the counter.

And then it started to rain a bit. Then a couple came in. Then they told me to have a great week. And after I gave them their drink they started to shout out the weather to me. I thought that was cute, especially since I don't watch the weather at home on TV. I like to call them my personal weather reporters. And then I salute them.

Blame it on the DayQuill

Sunday was Mother's Day. I got used to saying Happy Mother's Day to everybody. I know that you can't actually do that to everybody but it's more fun to. And then sometimes people don't know how to react, mostly when you tell a man happy mother's day.

So, since I didn't work Sunday, I thought it would be nice to ask everybody how their mother's day was. I was also on DayQuill which made me feel a little loopy. So I ask the lady who is always mad. I said, how was your mother's day? Of course she said it was horrible and she was sad. So then I said, did your kids not do anything special for you? (I know she has kids because she always talks about her grandkids). But then she replied with "well, I did have 3 sons, but they are all dead now." And then I realized that I should probably start thinking before I talk. I had absolutely no idea what to do. I just stood there and stared at her and gave her my "oops" look. When I figured this couldn't cover up my foot-in-mouth comment, I offered her a cookie. I blame it on the DayQuill.

Jumping for Girlies

I have also come up with a new name for the sissy drinks I make on a daily basis. I have decided to call them girlies for short. I think it's a pretty good name because who could resist a girly? Not me, that's for sure. I would, however, avoid a sissy drink by all accounts, but if someone says, "would you like to try the girlie of the day?" I might think yes, I would like to try that (if a girly looks like a man).

There is a regular. I like to think of him as Harold, mostly because he is bald and wears a sweatsuit. He usually orders a decaf coffee, but today he decided to mix it up. He still had his headphones in so he had a little difficulty gauging his volume. He shouted out "Large coffee frappucino." I thought he had been rehearsing this new drink in his head all afternoon. Apparently he surprised himself because he jumped right after shouting. Then he knocked over his man purse. I think he might have to stick to decaf coffees from now on.

Then a really cute guy came in. He talked to me about his mother and also his boyfriend. And I wanted to ask him if he wanted to be my friend too but I thought he might think I was weird.

And I also recently decided that I love Germans. I need to re-learn how to say "May I have a doughnut please" in German because I bet that's a really important phrase.

Relationships

Today was a fake Valentine's Day. Sometimes people don't want to celebrate it only one time a year, so then they have it some other times, just for kicks. And today, was one of those days. I must have missed the memo because if I had known it was "bring your partner (in a relationship lovey sort of way)" to work day and then parade him/her around town, I would have gone to the state prison, picked up a guard, and called it good.

But since I missed this little memo, I just watched everybody else enjoying their fake special day.

1st relationship: Man with his money. He really loved his money. I mean, I do too, but this was particularly good. He looked really uncomfortable when trying to pay for his drink. I wondered why he was putting his hands in his shirt. And then I thought, hmmmm, maybe he is wearing a bra? But then he pulled out his money (tucked in his bra I bet), paid for his drink, then promptly went back to uncomfortable face to tuck the money back in. Coins included in case you were wondering.

2nd relationship: Woman and scone. She was by herself until she eyed the scones. Then she screamed with joy and started to jump up and down. Then pointed to the scone. I like to think she experienced love at first sight because that's how it should look. Then she walked out with the biggest smile on her face. I wonder what she would have done if I had had a cinnamon roll...

3rd relationship: Man(potentially gay) with girl. I thought at first they were super cute. I guessed he was gay and she was the best friend. He said thank you lots of times. He also swung his arms around a lot to express himself. I wanted to pick him up and swing him around and ask him to be my friend too but I thought I should wait until they order something else. And then this whole idea of mine just disintegrated when they sat in a corner and she mounted him and he stuck his hands up her skirt. I didn't know whether to watch or look away. So I would half hide behind the espresso machine and half pretend like I was counting money in the cash register. And then this went on for 10 more minutes. And then the dry humping started. Then she laughed and ran off. Then he came up to me and asked me where the bathroom was. Then I winked at him (because I knew exactly why) and pointed to where it was. Then he said thanks for the 100th time and ran off. And now I will never again use that bathroom. I also had to bleach the seats they were sitting on.

4th + 5th relationship: Big cop, Little cop, and me. Big police came in first. Then we talked.

Big cop (BC): I don't hate you.
Me: Thanks
BC: I work out at the gym 6 days a week. Look at my muscles
Me: Wow, that's cool. I bet you don't even need your guns then
BC: No, I can just use these (showed me his arms). You know there's also a taco bell near my gym
Me: Oh, I didn't know that. That seems weird
BC: So I like to go there afterward. Have you eaten a steak gordito
Me: No. I haven't entered a taco bell in probably 6 years
BC: We should go sometime and eat those.
Me: Maybe.

Then he left. And then I was graced with the presence of little cop after that.

LC: Hey, how's it going?
Me: Great! How are you?
LC: Excellent. It's my Friday
Me: Even better that your friday is on a friday. Lucky you
LC: So how many times a day do you get asked out?
Me: Ummm, I don't know. Enough that it's not flattering anymore
LC: Do you go out with your customers?
Me: No. As a personal rule I don't.
LC: Yeah, I mean, I would never ask out anybody at work.
Me: That's good. Could make things awkward
LC: So what do you like to do when you have a day off?
Me: Stuff. I don't know. I just want to learn to do lots of things
LC: Like what
Me: Construction, Painting, Dancing, Glass Blowing, Snowboarding, and also Cooking
LC: I just learned to Snowboard. I'm really good at it already. I can teach you sometime
Me: Thanks. Who do you go to the mountain with?
LC: Other cops.
Me: Cool. Can I wear a snowboarding outfit that looks like a cop uniform
LC: I can also teach you to build things. I know how to build furniture
Me: Good for you
LC: I'm not a very good dancer though
Me: That's ok. You can still learn. What's with all the questions? You really need a girlfriend. You already missed the 2nd valentine's day so maybe you can catch on by the 3rd
LC: I'm not looking for a girlfriend.
Me: okay. It sounded like you were. Sorry.
LC: I mean, I am not going to go out looking. I still want one
Me: Okay. Well maybe you should try copmatch.com (I don't actually know that exists but it sure should)
LC: Yeah I will check that out
Me: Okay. Your heading should probably involve either something with a taser or a beat stick.

New Inventions

I got to thinking today and as my mind was wandering I discovered the absolute greatest invention. I like to call this invention "heavenly delight." You can think of it like Turkish delight but instead of Turkish it's heavenly. So this heavenly delight would consist of a piece of dried mango wrapped around a piece of chocolate. I know, genius.

And then also on my emotional high of this new invention, I couldn't stop smiling. And so I was smiling on the public transport when a man handed me something. It was a little piece of paper. He had a whole backpack filled with them so I assumed he was promoting something even though he didn't look like a "typcial promoter." I played a game with myself even. I thought first this is probably for a restaurant. Then I thought, no, couldn't be, there are no pictures, I bet it's for some religion. Then I thought, no, that wouldn't work, I bet it's about the government. And then I actually looked at it. I realized it was even better. I have copied it exactly below so you get the REAL effect of this paper.

"This is a free speech opinion! If you want marriage to be between a man and a woman and want your children/grandchildren to be straight and heterosexual, then wake up and start taking action! Not only do we have to NOT buy products and services from companies that support same sex marriage, we also have to SUE, SUE, and SUE! The lesbians/gays are suing their way to legalize their marriages and to also tell kids in schools that it is OK for a woman to marry a woman instead of a man, etc. We outnumber the gays and lesbians by over 50 to 1 so we can out sue them! It is about time that we become activists! We have to sue every company that supports the lesbians and gays! Buy from the competitors instead.

In China and Vietnam they eat dogs and cats! Please do not buy products made in China and Vietnam until they make dog eating and cat eating illegal!"

These are the things I have taken away from this article:
1) Dogs and Cats are delicious in some countries
2) Suing is a potential solution to every problem
3) This is the absolute most ridiculous piece of paper I have ever been handed in my life.

Graduate School

Graduate School is a great thing. It's always fun to discuss it with people who think they know everything. It's also really fun to talk about it with someone who just wants to keep talking. I luckily discussed it with a lady who did both things. We'll call her Harriett because she definitely looked like one.

First the background info. There is only one piece of information really. And that info is on my tip jar it says Tuition Jar instead of Tip Jar. It also says Loan Payback but most people assume I am in school. Sometimes I just pretend I am in school. But sometimes people like to ask questions and then I tell them my life history. Usually they throw in a $1 and walk off looking a little scared (I like to think more intimidated but that might be stretching it).

Harriett: So what are you going to school for?
Me: Well, I'm not in school right now, but I am working to go to graduate school
Harriett: Oh really? Well, I just got my doctorate. I went to a public school for undergrad but then I decided to pay extra money for graduate school and went private. Then I realized what I was missing in undergrad. Private school is great. I have a great education. You know I am soon to be graduating and most people don't graduate.
Me: Wow that's great. Yeah I went to a private school for undergrad as well
Harriett: Yeah well it's really great. The Jesuits are amazing. They want to help you out. I mean where do you want to go to graduate school
Me: Ideally I would go to Stanford, Harvard, or U of Chicago.
Harriett: Oh, so you are trying to get away from here? Well, where are there good Jesuit schools elsewhere. I mean, you should really try to be around the Catholics. They are just so loving. They want you to succeed. Well, you should probably try to go to Notre Dame.
Me: Here's your coffee. Have a great day
Harriett: Okay, think about the Catholics.
Me: I hope you baptized your dog Catholic (said in my head)

I hope she marries a priest.

Then Homeless II came back. He stared at me. Then he said he was tired. I stared back. Then I felt awkward. So I asked him how he's been. And then he said he's trying to become a pressure washer.

Escapee II

Today there was another escapee. This escapee was another farter. If the farter didn't have such stinky farts, then they could continue to do this. But I don't like to mix the smell of coffee with rotten eggs. I think I might need to put up a new sign. Something like "you fart, you pay." But then people might be embarrassed. I might have to pick out people who look like farters and make them pay extra. That's probably a good idea.

Also future boyfriend visited today. I have now decided that he cannot be my future boyfriend. That's too bad. Mostly for me because I was excited about the possibility. Turns out he doesn't drink coffee. And to think I believed he just really liked root beer. So sorry future bf, you are that no longer. And also my other not future boyfriend gave me another present...another CD. At least my music collection is increasing.

And then I had 6 shots of espresso. Clearly it was a good day.

Kyle gets kicked out...then returns

I see some action going on down the street and then I see Kyle. Kyle is being escorted by the police away from the caffe. I think this is just great. I don't even look at him. But then 30 minutes later, Kyle is back without the police. (For the record Kyle is not homeless. He is just a bothersome, annoying teenager who tries to hastle people. Unfortunately I am included in that "people" and also stuck behind a counter so he knows he can come bother me as many times as he wants and I can't run away). He's wearing the exact same clothes as when I first saw him and admitted to not have taken a shower. Good thing I have a bit of distance from him because I bet he smells. Then he starts to inch closer. I start to get worried. What if I pass out? What if I punch him? What if he stays there and tries to talk to me?

And then he comes right up to the counter and this is what happens.

Kyle: Wow, it looks like you have a lot of tips. You going to give me a dollar?
Me: No. I work hard for my money. I'm definitely not going to give it to you.
Kyle: I also work hard for my money.
Me: No you don't.
Kyle: Yes I do.
Me: Oh really? Doing what
Kyle: Doing IT. Informational Technology
Me: I'm not a dumbass. I know what that stands for. So then where are you working?
Kyle: I'm working for Nintendo
Me: No you're not
Kyle: How do you know?
Me: Because my friend works there
Kyle: Your friend or boyfriend?
Me: It doesn't matter. What matters is that you don't work there. And also if you did, then you wouldn't be asking me for money.
Kyle: So you still have your boyfriend?
Me: Yes
Kyle: Where does he work?
Me: He's a prison guard.

Kyle then leaves the caffe. I am pretty happy about this answer. I mean, I would never date a prison guard but that's a fun answer to give.

Then Kyle came back into the caffe. I start cleaning. Then he asked me about the pastries

Kyle: So can I ask you a question
Me: Only if you really need to
Kyle: So this sign says pastries baked daily
Me: Yes.
Kyle: Where do the pastries go when you close?
Me: To a homeless shelfter
Kyle: Oh ok, so can I have one then?
Me: No. I'm not closed yet. And when I am closed, you still cannot have one because they go to a homeless shelter.
Kyle: So why can't you just give me one now?
Me: Because I can't. If you really want a pastry then you can either buy one now or go to the homeless shelter later.
Kyle: Fine

And then I wish I told him that next time someone asks him where he works, he should probably say Chuckie Cheese, not Nintendo.

Then Kyle came back AGAIN! I glared at him. Now I just need to find myself a real prison guard to take with me to work one day. I like that idea. Instead of bring your kid to work day they should have you bring a prison guard. I think everyone should know what it's like in the slammer.

Silver Fox is back

Today Silver Fox came back in the caffe. He had a new haircut but the same great personality, and also a nice suit. There were a bunch of people in front of him. They were tourists, but he had no idea. So he took it upon himself to go up to them and say "You're dealing with the boss here!" To which they had no idea what he was saying because they were from Sweden. So after the continued to look confused, he decided to translate his phrase into "She's the BIG CHEESE!" Then they laughed. I think they laughed because they had no idea what he was saying but we were both laughing. He was laughing because he thought he was witty. I was laughing because Silver Fox was almost flirting with me. I was also laughing because he was laughing because he though he was really witty and made the tourists laugh when in actuality, they were just laughing to make it all stop. I mean, I understand that. That's usually what I do when I don't understand something. My motto is to always follow the laugher. But the meer fact that me and silver fox were laughing together is cause for celebration. Oh Silver Fox. I do think you are witty.

And then my future boyfriend walked in! And then he wrote his number on a piece of paper and slipped it to me across the counter. But then he signed his name instead of printed so alas I will just have to call him fb (future boyfriend). Or I will just assign him a name. Probably Enrique. That sounds good.