The Happiest day of the year

Today was supposed to be the happiest day of the year. I felt pretty happy. I think some other people felt happy. Not sure if it was the happiest, but it makes you feel really good when you say it. And also I think it forces people into feeling happy because they don't want to be the one going against the flow.

Thank god it was the happiest day or some people might have been slapped. This older woman walks in and orders an ice cream. Then I have to tell her the price 3 times because she doesn't understand. After she fails to count out her money, I do it for her. So she pulls out all her money and I count it and then she starts asking me if I accept "paper money." I almost joked and said no, only coins, but quickly realized that would be a horrible idea. So I said yes. Then she asked me again. I said yes again. Then she asked me how much I owed her. Then I told her again. Then she asked me if I had paper money to give her back as change. I said yes. Then I thought, what kind of business does she think I am running? A big game of monopoly? So I finally take her money, give her her change, then she looks at me one more time, and says, how much money was my ice cream? I have one word for her. Unbelievable.

But I was still happy because it was the happiest day as proven by Scientists. And so I was made happier by a man who walked in with the worst wig I had ever seen. I could tell he thought he was hot, and that just made it all the more better. Thank god for bag wigs and old men who keep buying them. And just to paint the picture a little better, he was an old man, about 60 years old. He was maybe 5'5, wearing those old fashioned blue jeans that aren't really jean but painted blue pants, and his hair was golden blond, parted down the middle. I wanted to call him Rico.