Children and Puppies

Apparently children and puppies don't mix. I always thought that they were the perfect combination in that they are very similar. Both are small, both don't clean up after themselves, and both like to focus on making small noises and playing with anything that looks like a toy. To me, that seems like they are two peas in a pod. So you can imagine how shocked I was when this woman told me that puppies and children DO NOT MIX. This is also the woman who is always mad about everything. She was so mad about this that she felt she needed to tell me why they don't mix for another 10 minutes. The main reason (or really, the only reason that I was paying attention to) is that the child will antagonize the puppy and the puppy will in return attack the child and both will end up yelping. I then wanted to tell her that we are like the child and puppy. She's the mean child and I am the puppy. She yelps at me with complaints and I yelp after her exit of the Caffe, mostly out of excitement, but also out of exhaustion for having to pretend I was paying attention for so long. Thank god she never asks me any questions or I would be at a total loss.

So before Meany can continue complaining, another customer approaches. I think I am saved. But then before too long I realize she must have overheard Meany and now thinks I am a therapist. She then complains to me too. But she complained about her daughter and how she spent all this money on her and how ridiculous that is. I held my tongue from mentioning to her that a child actually costs money and maybe she should have thought about that before having one. She was sporting a fanny pack so I figured her daughter was probably a "mistake." This doesn't really make sense but I decided that a fanny pack is a bad decision, so anything else that person does in life is also a bad decision, AKA have children. So she is doing things with her daughter around the city, spending more money, and finally she had had enough and stopped talking to her daughter who couldn't figure out why her mother was so mad. And I guess she left her sitting on a bench and she had to come and get a coffee. How she became a mother in the first place...that is far beyond me.