Hi Drunky

Unannounced to me, today was another day celebrating Hawaii. I like Hawaii. I want to go there. I just don't want to listen to the same Hawaiian music on repeat for 4 hours. I should have taken this as a sign that today was going to be an "interesting" day but I wanted to give it the benefit of the doubt.

First entered a man who smelled horrible. He wanted a coffee so I got it ready for him. When I tried to get his money, it looked as if he was stuck trying to count. I waited. Then I waited some more. Then I thought he had fallen asleep, so I took the bills for him. When began to tip over at the counter, I realized that no, he doesn't have a sleeping problem, he is just drunk. Then I imagined the conversation I would have with him.

Me: Hey there buddy. Thirsty?
Drunk: Heya. Really thirsty. Give me a brewsky
Me: I don't serve those here. But I wish I did. I would have one too
Drunk: Oh don't worry, I have a couple in my pocket
Me: Perfect
Drunk: Do you have a bottle opener?
Me: No, only a can opener
Drunk: That's ok. I can use my teeth
Me: Wow, what a man.
Drunk: I've had practice.

And I couldn't even think of the rest of the conversation because I was interrupted by his presence a 2nd time. And this time he had poo smeared on his face.