Audio Books

I think bus drivers are very interesting.

First, they can drive a bus.
Second, they deal with more crazies than I do on a daily basis.
Third, they get to speak through a microphone.
Four, they tend to be crazy themselves.

Then there is Fred, formerly a rock star musician, now a bus driver. For the longest time he referred to me as the Italian. No matter how many times I would tell him I wasn't Italian, he still continued to begin every single order with "Ciao Bella." Maybe from all his days as a rock star, his hearing has gone and he wasn't ignoring me, but rather, couldn't hear me tell him I wasn't Italian.

Today he started talking in a Scottish accent. I know for a fact he is not Scottish nor does he have an accent. Naturally, I ask why today he has an accent.

Fred: Oh Darling. It's because I have just written a novel
Me: Wow, that's impressive. So is this your way to advertise your book?
Fred: It's actually an audio book.
Me: Ok. And the accent is for...?
Fred: I am going to be reading the book, so I have to practice my accent
Me: I don't think you need a Scottish accent to read a book
Fred: Oh Darling...It's for one of the characters. I have to speak like a Scottish man during the day if I want the character to come to life.
Me: That makes sense. Of course.
Fred: I heard that if you practice enough, then it comes naturally. I don't want to be making any mistakes while speaking in the microphone
Me: So, what's your book about?
Fred: It's actually part of a trilogy. Science Fiction. I don't mean to brag but it's going to be as great as Star Wars.

Unless all the characters have accents, I know I won't be listening to his book on tape.