Drinks that don't work

Because I am a coffee snob, when people order wrong, it makes me mad. It mostly makes me mad because they walk in like they know coffee (which they don't) and then order something that makes no sense and keep repeating it when I give them my confused face look. So these are some of the best

Coffee Mocha: Do you want a coffee, a mocha, or a coffee with chocolate? You have to pick
Mocha Latte: Pick again, one or the other
Double Tall Nonfat Latte with soy: So you want me to make you a nonfat latte topped with soy?
dopio macchiato, 16 oz.: A macchiato is 2 shots of espresso, there is no possible way to make that 16 oz, unless you add that much cream, which you shouldn't, because that's gross.