St. Patty's Day

I love almost all holidays. I strongly believe we should have more of them, as a matter of fact. I know that if we had more things to celebrate in this country, then everybody would be happier. Today, I celebrated St. Patrick's Day. This is always a fun holiday because anything that involves the color green, leprechauns, gold, and alcohol can't be anything but great. But as much as I do love holidays, I don't always love people on holidays.
St. Patrick's Day is one example of a day where I am not too fond of the people. It reminds me of frat parties where everybody is drunk and acting stupid and a lot of people have red faces.

Today I dressed up for the occasion. I tried to wear as much green as possible with as little coordination as I could get away with. In walks a man. We'll call him Patrick.

Patrick: How come you're not in a bikini
Me: Oh shoot, I must have forgotten to wear it today
Patrick: You would make more tips if you had it on
Me: I know that. Too bad that tomorrow is bikini day
Patrick: Well I'm not going to be here tomorrow
Me: That's too bad. You're going to miss it
Patrick: You can give me a preview
Me: Not allowed
Patrick: Come on, nobody is watching
Me: The cameras are
Patrick: We can go in the back room
Me: Would you like a coffee or not?
Patrick: I would like a latte. Come one, let me see
Me: No. You should know a little mystery is better
Patrick: A bikini is a mystery.
Me: I'm sure, but clothes are even more of a mystery so I will stick to that
Patrick: I can picture you in a bikini now...and I like it

Then right before I punched him in the face he said "Here's a dollar tip. I would have given you more if you had on a bikini"